To all those who don’t think the rape joke was a problem, or rape jokes are a problem.
I get it, you’re a decent guy. I can even believe it. You’ve never raped anybody. You would NEVER rape anybody. You’re upset that all these feminists are trying to accuse you of doing something or connect you to doing something that, as far as you’re concerned, you’ve never done and would never condone.
And they’ve told you about triggers, and PTSD, and how one in six women is a survivor, and you get it. You do. But you can’t let every time someone gets all upset get in the way of you having a good time, right?
So fine. If all those arguments aren’t going anything for you, let me tell you this. And I tell you this because I genuinely believe you mean it when you say you don’t want to hurt anybody, and you don’t see the harm, and that it’s important to you to do your best to be a decent and good person. And I genuinely believe you when you say you would never associate with a rapist and you think rape really is a very bad thing.
Because this is why I refuse to take rape jokes sitting down-
6% of college age men, slightly over 1 in 20, will admit to raping someone in anonymous surveys, as long as the word “rape” isn’t used in the description of the act.
6% of Penny Arcade’s target demographic will admit to actually being rapists when asked.
A lot of people accuse feminists of thinking that all men are rapists. That’s not true. But do you know who think all men are rapists?
They really do. In psychological study, the profiling, the studies, it comes out again and again.
Virtually all rapists genuinely believe that all men rape, and other men just keep it hushed up better. And more, these people who really are rapists are constantly reaffirmed in their belief about the rest of mankind being rapists like them by things like rape jokes, that dismiss and normalize the idea of rape.
If one in twenty guys is a real and true rapist, and you have any amount of social activity with other guys like yourself, really cool guy, then it is almost a statistical certainty that one time hanging out with friends and their friends, playing Halo with a bunch of guys online, in a WoW guild, or elsewhere, you were talking to a rapist. Not your fault. You can’t tell a rapist apart any better than anyone else can. It’s not like they announce themselves.
But, here’s the thing. It’s very likely that in some of these interactions with these guys, at some point or another someone told a rape joke. You, decent guy that you are, understood that they didn’t mean it, and it was just a joke. And so you laughed.
And, decent guy who would never condone rape, who would step in and stop rape if he saw it, who understands that rape is awful and wrong and bad, when you laughed?
That rapist who was in the group with you, that rapist thought that you were on his side. That rapist knew that you were a rapist like him. And he felt validated, and he felt he was among his comrades.
You. The rapist’s comrade.
And if that doesn’t make you feel sick to your stomach, if that doesn’t make you want to throw up, if that doesn’t disturb you or bother you or make you feel like maybe you should at least consider not participating in that kind of humor anymore…
Well, maybe you aren’t as opposed to rapists as you claim.
"It’s pronounced like jif"
Yeah well I don’t gif a fuck
fucking rich white people laughing at how poverty is some diet they should try.
Social experiments where wealthy people say they’re going to live on a budget below the poverty line for a month don’t accomplish much more than partonize people actually living in low income situations with no end in sight. It was the exact problem I had with Morgan Spurlock’s “30 Days” thing where he and his wife lived on minimum wage for a month, they didn’t behave like people living with the reality of poverty, they lived like two useless rich people who had their credit cards taken away for a couple weeks. It’s super easy to run up a lot of debt and make dumb decisions in money management if you know you’re going to be rich again in a couple weeks just like it’s super easy to stick to an extreme diet for a month. When people watch someone live on foodstamps for a month to prove a point and say “ha ha you’re gonna lose ten pounds and look great!” they’re showing a complete inability to extrapolate that situation to a long-term scenario. “Oh wow, you’re gonna lose weight because you’ll be undernourished!” And that’s good? They’re supposed to just enjoy being malnourished and losing weight until when? They get sick and die?
And I mean, sure, it’s totally doable to live on $133 a month for food, but wow does a super restrictive food budget ever suck when there’s no end in sight. The world is just a grey and shitty place when you’re malnourished and eating the same meal of watered down soup and rice every day for the indefinite future. When I was at my worst my hair was falling out, I was dizzy and passing out all the time. Like in public, standing at the mall, suddenly on the ground. Talking to a kid on the lawn, on the ground. I cracked my head open on a tile floor and knew a trip to the hospital wasn’t in the budget so I ended up just hoping for the best that I didn’t have a brain hemorrhage. There’s a dull ache in that part of my skull to this day. That’s not the kind of life experience you get from one month of living on rice and beans when you know there’s a sweet steak dinner with your name on it in four weeks.
reblogging again for Coelasquid’s fantastic commentary.
I was deployed in mid-2011. This was my dog’s very first reaction upon seeing me over Skype.
You’ve always hated him.
Oh, don’t be silly, I would never do that! *exaggeratedly cheerful laughter* You should relax and not worry about turning your back to me! *shifty eyes*
Your flatmate is alright, isn’t she?
she’s the absolute best! =D